The 5 Love Languages

By: Annalise Wintz ASW

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, states that individuals give and receive love in various ways. Dr. Chapman identifies five love languages that help individuals recognize the ways in which we prefer to show and receive affection. The five love languages include physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time and receiving gifts. These love languages can be important to identify when in a relationship, but it can also be important to think about the ways in which you can apply the love languages to yourself. Below are some examples of the ways you can engage in the different love languages when alone. 

Physical Touch 

• Taking care of your skin – this can be by moisturizing your skin, applying sunscreen or exfoliating.  
• Taking a shower/drawing a bath 
• Moving your body in whatever way you would like (i.e., exercise, yoga, stretching) 
• Touch something soft that brings you joy (i.e., soft blankets, silky pajamas or sheets) 

Acts of Service 

• Check something off your to-do list 
• Cleaning/decluttering your space 
• Cooking yourself a meal 
• Schedule an appointment you’ve been putting off 
• Engage in a hobby or activity you like 
• Volunteer or donate to a cause you believe in 

Words of Affirmation 

• Start a gratitude journal (write 1-3 things a day you are grateful for) 

• Write a positive note for yourself and set it as a reminder on your phone to show up throughout your week 
• Come up with a mantra and tell it to yourself 
• Reflect on your accomplishments 
• Compliment yourself 

Quality Time 

• Explore somewhere you’ve always wanted to check out 
• Read a book, listen to music or a podcast 
• Meditate and/or practice mindfulness 
• Try a new recipe or restaurant 
• Spend a few moments in silence with yourself without distractions (i.e., no phone) 

Receiving Gifts 

• Invest in yourself (this can be a business, a hobby, a gym pass, pursuing higher education, applying for scholarships/grants) 
• Go online window (or actual) shopping 
• Buy yourself flowers/a plant or whatever small thing brings you happiness 
• Order takeout 
• Go on a trip or take yourself out on a date 

Instead of looking to others to meet our needs, it is important to look inward and consider what we can give to ourselves first. Self-care should be a priority and is the key to maintaining our well-being. By understanding your love language, you can better acknowledge what it is that your body, mind and soul need. For reference, you can take the five love language quiz at https://5lovelanguages.com