Self – Sabotage

By Evelia Saucedo AMFT

Have you ever had a moment where you have reflected on how you treat yourself?  

Sometimes it is difficult to stop and reflect on the way we treat ourselves and when we do, we may not be aware or dismiss a self-sabotaging behavior as a “firm” behavior versus passive aggressive or a destructive, and unkind behavior toward the self.  

According to Psychology Today (2023), self-sabotaging behavior is when the behavior creates problems in our everyday life, and it disrupts our goals. Many a time, individuals are not aware of these destructive behaviors, which can cause difficulties with self-confidence, self-esteem, and overall relationships.  

Ways to identify self-sabotage: 

Procrastination  

Making excuses 

Negative self-talk/self-criticism 

Low self-esteem  

Comparing self to others 

Trying to control others. 

Resisting change 

Risky behaviors (i.e., substance use, overspending, promiscuity). 

Overcoming self-sabotage: 

Develop awareness of the negative behaviors and identify self-sabotage. 

Ask yourself challenging questions and replace the negative thought with a kind and helpful thought.  

Choose meaningful goals (use SMART goals). 

Work on small changes and develop incremental change, as it can also help with increasing motivation.  

Embrace your strengths and celebrate all accomplishments, no matter how big or how small they are.  

Practice mindfulness.