Why We Get Triggered
By Diana Ibarra AMFT
Why We Get Triggered
Picture this, You hear someone talking about their weight loss. The rational side of you
understands that many people diet and lose weight… yet your “irrational” aka the emotionally wounded side of you remembers your mother talking about your body as a child, constantly comparing you and restricting your food intake. You end up making a snarky comment at that person.
Your partner forgets to call you at the end of your work day because they became preoccupied. Your rational side understands that this is completely understandable…… your wounded side feels forgotten, abandoned, and unimportant. You end up sending an angry text message.
Someone cut you off in traffic. Rationally you understand that they were probably not paying attention or they were in a hurry…. the emotionally wounded you feels angry and unconsidered because you were often overlooked as a child. You end up cursing them out and honking aggressively at them.
I think we can all relate to one of these examples or we can all think of a time where we became triggered and acted out “irrationally”. Before we try to “fix” our triggers, we must first understand why we become triggered in the first place. Here are a couple reasons why we may become triggered:
Why We Get Triggered
1. You felt forgotten – You felt irrelevant, unseen, and made to feel as if you do not matter as a child.
- You felt foolish – In the past, you were possibly shamed for not knowing something — therefore your nervous system is trying to protect you
- You felt jealous – Part of you felt insecure because of the unconscious belief that you are not good enough and/or would not be loved.
- You felt unhear – As a child you felt like no one listened to you, you were ignored often — now you need to make sure you are heard.
- You felt misunderstood – In the past you were manipulated and someone twisted your words.
- You felt trapped – This reminded you of a time when you were not able to say “no”, you were pressured, or forced.
We all become triggered at some point in our lives. It is a normal part of the human experience. In order to help ourselves manage these triggers when they arise; we must first be kind to ourselves. We must remember not to let out emotional wounds to get the best of us. Take a breather and notice your body sensations. Once we acknowledge our triggers and the reasons behind them, we can act and think a bit more rationally.
Written by: Diana Ibarra, AMFT