Improving Self-Care through Self-Dating

By: Tracy Brown LMFT

Many of us have embraced the value of Self-Care as a way of nurturing our mental health. Self-care is simply the process of prioritizing the care of ourselves in order to promote our health and wellness. Self-care involves not only nurturing our mental wellness, but physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and social, to name a few. The ways in which we engage in self-care are limitless and are as various as our unique personalities. The most important aspects of self-care are showing up for ourselves, prioritizing our needs, and promoting our overall wellbeing in ways that align with our values. The key to developing self-care is recognizing the areas that we have neglected and being intentional about improving and creating balance in those areas of our lives.

            In helping my clients improve their self-esteem, I recently discovered that many of us have been mistreated by people we trusted. Therefore, we may find it difficult to connect with others or maintain healthy relationships. We often feel like something is lacking if we don’t have that special person to help us enjoy ourselves. What if we were to intentionally enjoy ourselves by identifying ourselves as that special person? What would it look like to show up for ourselves and treat ourselves to the best dates of our lives on a regular basis? Rather than waiting for that invitation, why not invite yourself to a cup of coffee, tea or even frozen yogurt with your favorite toppings? Why not intentionally make a reservation for one special person (you) and treat that person to a delicious meal, dessert, a show and sight-seeing? It may feel awkward at first, but that’s how first dates are anyway. Who better to make yourself feel welcome, comfortable, and loved than the person who knows you better than anyone else – that would be you!

            So in the spirit of improving self-care, embracing self-love, and elevating self-esteem, I invite you to reach out to the most special person that you know and enjoy the company of someone who accepts you just as you are. You are so worthy. So treat yourself well, take yourself out, or stay in if you like, and enjoy yourself!