By: Nic Love LCSW
It is human nature to try things that will make us feel better when our worlds feel like they are crashing down and/or closing in on us. One way that we humans do that is by comparing our lives to others. Basic things that we humans tell ourselves is that someone has it worse than me or my life isn’t as bad….. as fill in the blank.
Unfortunately, the downside to using this method is that it causes we humans to invalidate our own experiences and/or emotions. It makes things seem like they are not a big deal when to you as the individual doing the comparing it is a big deal. If it was not a big deal, then it would not cause distress. Another way to look at this is that every experience that is felt by we humans is experienced very differently. Meaning that what you consider a big deal or life altering experience may not be for someone else and visa versa. Nitian Namdeo said, “two humans are completely different from each other comparing them is like insulting nature”.
The next time that your brain has decided to compare things because life is not going the way that you would like it to then think about what Euginia Herlihy said, “comparison is the most poisonous thing in the human heart because it destroys ingenuity, and it robs peace and joy”. If this continues to be an issue for you, I encourage you to make an appointment so that you can get the tools that you need to change this method of coping and help you to find an alternative method.